[personal profile] cortana
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be.
Spoilers: Up to 5x03
Author's notes: This is in response to Beya's Black and White Challenge. Angsty and not happy. At all.  Don't say I didn't warn you. 

If John lived in a world of black and white, the decision to tell Teyla how much she meant to him would be a clear one. He would have confessed his suppressed feelings and she, in turn in this perfect two-toned world, would have declared her love for him. There would be no indecisions or second-guessing; their love would be stark white in the world of darkness.

Instead of living in the utopia of contrast, John was submerged in a world of charcoal, silver and slate.

At the heart of the issue was Kanaan. John wished he could hate the man for being in the position he wanted to be.

He couldn’t despise Kanaan because he was a good man.

When the Athosian was finally allowed to come on base, one of the first things he did was seek out John. With a hearty handshake, he thanked the colonel for saving Teyla and his son and was honored his son was named after such a brave man.

Though he was nervous, Kanaan was good around Torran. The love he felt for his son was sincere and abundant, something John knew the child would appreciate as he grew up. Numerous nights John saw Kanaan holding Torran, humming an unfamiliar tune, trying to get the child to sleep. If he saw John in the hallway, he would smile at him and nod then continue to bond with his son.

His relationship with Teyla was something that admittedly John did not think about too often. They were still awkward with each other, still trying to understand the new boundaries that came with having a child and living on the same planet. They had stumbled a few times, much to John’s guilty delight, but so far, their progress was still moving forward.

The chimes on his door knocked, pulling him from his morose thoughts. He stood up, scrubbing his face. With a great effort, he forced a smile on his face and he opened the door. Teyla, Kanaan and Torran stood on the other side of it.

“John,” Teyla said softly, “thank you again for doing this.”

“Not a problem. I’m just glad that I was able to help out.” He hoped Teyla wouldn’t detect the sarcasm in his voice.

She handed him Torran. “We should not be long.” To the child, “Be good for the colonel.”

“Thank you,” Kanaan said, placing his hand on Teyla’s shoulder, leading her away from John.

As the doors slid shut, Torran gurgled contently at John. “Well,” John said with a sigh, “I guess it’s just you and me now.”

Gray, John thought with distain, is the worst color in the world.

Date: 2008-07-29 08:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anuna-81.livejournal.com
Heh just wanted to say I'm working on the same challenge. There will be some happy team fic ;)

Date: 2008-07-29 08:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wedjatqi.livejournal.com
Brilliant. Loved the last line. Man, S5 has brought out the angst in us all!

Date: 2008-07-31 05:05 pm (UTC)
yappichick: DCA at Dusk (SGA: Rodney Looking)
From: [personal profile] yappichick
Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it! And yes, season 5 looks to be a bit angsty for us.

Date: 2008-07-29 08:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] azure-horizon.livejournal.com
Guh. Guh. Guh.

"Instead of living in the utopia of contrast, John was submerged in a world of charcoal, silver and slate."

That line there has two different meanings and I love it; the literal in that he lives in Atlantis. And the metaphorical in that life is netiher black, nor white.

Loves it, my dear. Loves it.

Date: 2008-07-31 05:08 pm (UTC)
yappichick: DCA at Dusk (Chief/Cortana 7)
From: [personal profile] yappichick
Thank you! Thank you! I'm glad Camy threw out the challenge--it was nice to get some angst off my mind. :D

Date: 2008-07-29 08:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scifan1.livejournal.com
Bravo! Awesome job Jess!!! Very well written. :D

Date: 2008-07-31 05:09 pm (UTC)
yappichick: DCA at Dusk (SW: Yeah)
From: [personal profile] yappichick
Thanks Lea! I just lucky--this story just kind of popped out. I was a little unsure of it, but I'm glad you enjoyed it! :D

Date: 2008-07-29 10:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jeyla4ever.livejournal.com
Damn you people take the colors and make it into a masterpiece...I can see this John now...I really do. You capture it beautifully. And Teyla would be so naive as to do something like this to him without even knowing what it's doing to him. I really believe she has no clue or believes that John would never commit to her. *sighs* Don't worry, Kanan is going to be gone soon. Or so help me I"ll get rid of him myself! I can almost see the grin on his face everytime John passes by them. UGH! the nerve! LOL

LOVE IT!LOVE IT! LOVE IT!

Date: 2008-07-31 05:10 pm (UTC)
yappichick: DCA at Dusk (Geordi: Not Amused)
From: [personal profile] yappichick
Thank you for the challenge! :D It will be an interesting (and bumpy) ride this season--it will be fun to see where this all ends up going on the JT front.

Date: 2008-07-30 12:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ginger-tea.livejournal.com
Yes, very well written. And, if I might add, right-on, character wise. It sounds/feels so much like John. I liked it very much! :D

Date: 2008-07-31 05:11 pm (UTC)
yappichick: DCA at Dusk (Woolsey)
From: [personal profile] yappichick
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Date: 2008-07-30 03:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 2bluaeryn.livejournal.com
This was wonderfully done. Thanks for sharing.

Date: 2008-07-31 05:11 pm (UTC)
yappichick: DCA at Dusk (SGA: Rodney Looking)
From: [personal profile] yappichick
Thanks! I'm glad that you liked reading it! :D

Date: 2008-07-30 03:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] padme18.livejournal.com
Awe, this is cute, and sad. Nice response to Camy's challenge.

P.S. Love the new look.

Date: 2008-07-31 05:12 pm (UTC)
yappichick: DCA at Dusk (Default)
From: [personal profile] yappichick
Thanks! And yeah, it's a fun new layout! :D

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